10 Ways Cheating Will Save Your Relationship

The battle-cry of those who are perennially unfaithful within relationships usually runs along the lines of, “Human beings aren’t meant to be monogamous anyway”. This is usually met with a roll of the eyes and a click of the tongue, despite being biologically accurate. Western society as a whole tends not to treat the issue of infidelity with any degree of sympathy, but increasing numbers of sex therapists are starting to warm up to the idea that cheating, in some aspects, can actually help to save a relationship.
Of course, this is not the same thing as sexologists arming couples in possession of a roaming eye with a pack of condoms and urging them to go and get theirs. The most pertinent advice for couples who feel their relationship has entered rocky territory is to talk things out and seek to resolve issues together. However, therapists and couples alike are beginning to identify situations where cheating can not only add a spark to a relationship, it can be one of the key factors in making it better than it ever was.

Below, we shall look at ten results of cheating that both therapists and the unfaithful claim will help a relationship to become healthier, from mental and physical benefits to the flowering of an existing relationship into something both beautiful and bullet-proof. While this article shouldn’t be read to be an endorsement of such views, the points contained within do provoke some fascinating debates: is it ever OK to cheat and, indeed, is it even advisable to do so? Read on and decide for yourself.

10. You’ll Benefit From An Ego Boost

One of the most common reasons for cheating is simply ‘because you can’. To view absolutely everybody who cheats as being morally bankrupt sex fiends is an immature and limited way of seeing the world. Many people who cheat on their partners don’t plan to do so – they simply take advantage of an opportunity in a moment of weakness. Assuming that their partner never finds out and they can live with the guilt, what is the benefit of a one-night stand?

An instant benefit from a one-nighter is the incredible ego boost that it provides. The joy of knowing that a complete stranger or your close friend finds you sexually attractive can boost your self-esteem to the point that you become a more confident, productive person in other key aspects of your life. Your performance at work may improve as you view yourself in a better light, you’re more relaxed and happy around your friends – and you become a more attentive and loving partner.

While extended affairs have a tendency to be viewed as a greater betrayal, the ego boost provided by one-off instances of cheating can sometimes be so effective that the first relationship receives a boost, too. The happier a person is in their own skin, the better they tend to treat and relate to those closest to them in turn.

9. Cheating Can Lead To You Becoming A Better Lover

Unless a couple go out of their way to try out new things in bed, a long-term relationship can suffer through the sex life becoming stale and predictable, boring even. There are, of course many useful sex guides and tip sheets plastered all over the internet and magazine columns, but many people chose to learn new tricks outside of the marital bed.

Sex, like most other things, improves with the more practice and experience you have. Although tenderness and intimacy are often the key factors to the most satisfying sexual experiences, new techniques, positions and experiments always add spice. When one partner in a relationship is more libidinous than the other, it can be tempting to explore new experiences by cheating.

While sex isn’t the be-all-and-end-all of a successful relationship, it does form an important part of life for most couples. In the confines of, say an open-relationship, it could be argued that polygamy can improve the sex life of a couple and therefore the relationship itself.

8. Infidelity Can Add Fizz To A Flat Relationship

Unless you’re supernaturally lucky, marriage and long-term relationships are hard work. It’s naive to think that love alone is enough to keep a relationship successful and healthy – what can seem safe and loving one moment can quickly grow to be boring and suffocating with indecent speed. That said, is infidelity really the way forward?

Many commentators and experts seem to believe so. Couples with one partner who has lost their sex drive have spoken of feeling a new freedom when the other has sex outside of the partnership. On other occasions, people have rediscovered their lust for their partner after being turned on by the notion that somebody else finds their partner attractive. Even when the affair remains an open secret, what started out as an illicit secret has proven to be the savior of many relationships.

7. You Can Satisfy Sexual And Emotional Needs

Not all people who cheat cover their sexual adventures with layers of subterfuge and deception; open relationships are becoming more common, where one or both partners are free to pursue an active sex life outside of the relationship. This is quite common where one partner has a low or no sex drive but the other still has natural urges. The couple are open about the fact that one is having sex outside of the marriage, but the other is often happy that their sexual needs are being fulfilled.

The reason for cheating is not always sexual, but can often be tied into the feelings of being desired and needing intimacy. In a marriage where the couple have common interests and little desire to part, but have long since lost the sexual spark, cheating can be a way of ‘filling in the gaps’ that are present in their partnership.

6. Revenge-Cheats Can Draw A Line In The Sand

Being cheated upon is one of the most humiliating and dreadful things that can happen to a person. Their belief in their previously happy and safe existence is shattered and many find their ability to trust in their partner (or any future lovers) irreparably damaged. While most therapists believe that only addressing the issues together can repair the relationship, many people take on the view of ‘an eye for an eye’.

Revenge-cheating is a veritable emotional minefield. While dragging a stranger/friend/ your partner’s best friend into bed to get back at them may be initially satisfying, there is no guarantee that you will feel better afterwards. Often, there will be an escalation where both partners find themselves miserably pumping away at anything that consents in attempt to even up the score after the latest infidelity. Some people, however feel that a one-off affair cancels out another and leaves both partners free to carry on their relationship as before. The couple may even view themselves as being stronger for the experience, now that the need to itch has been scratched.

5. It Can Help You To Identify Areas That Need Attention

So the worst has happened and you’ve either cheated with that bartender or been cheated upon. After you’ve found a new place to drink, where do you go from here? Providing that you’re still talking to your partner, this could well be the dawn of a better stage in your relationship.

Cheating is one of the major indications that something is inherently wrong within the relationship. While nice, good people can and do cheat, there is always something that compels them to do so. It isn’t always a case of one no longer finding the other attractive; often there is intimacy missing from the relationship, or sympathy and understanding is sought from the arms of another when your partner has stopped listening to you.

The discovery of the betrayal always leads the couple to assess the state of the relationship. When they begin talking and thinking about they problems they have together and how/if they should overcome them, a couple can emerge from adultery all the stronger for the experience.

4. Cuckolding Is A Growing Fetish Pastime

Fifty Shades of Grey has a lot to answer for. Amongst the things that it has popularized – terrible prose, idiot billionaires and the phrase “oh my” – is a startling rise in the amount of people who openly go to flagellation clubs. Suddenly, pursuits such as B&M and S&M are no longer viewed as the domain of kinky weirdos.

A particular brand of fetishism, which apparently accounts for 15% of all married couples, is a form of swinging called cuckolding. The word is one of many priceless gifts that Shakespeare bestowed upon us, and refers to “the husband of an adulteress”. Cuckolding basically involves a married woman openly cheating on her husband in order to humiliate him, often making him physically aid her. The husband gets a sexual thrill from this humiliation and et voila, the couple have fantastic sex afterwards.

It goes without saying that forcing your partner to indulge in their darkest fantasies, like forced bisexuality and voyeurism of their own wife, only works if the other half is consenting to it. Cuckolding fans swear that the thrill and lack of deceit involved in open cheating has added a new layer of intimacy to their relationships.

3. Cheating Can Aid Conflict Avoidance

Some people will do anything to avoid conflict. From Neville Chamberlain to the time your dad broke your mum’s favourite vase and blamed it on the dog, history is littered with people who pretended that the massive problems they faced weren’t that bad, really. Many couples treat their relationships in the same manner.

Rather than admit that it drives you crazy when your other half treats you with an utter lack of respect, many people choose the passive-aggressive route of refusing to confront their partners and, instead rely on conducting affairs to rid themselves of the tension that these problems cause. They see it as being healthier than bottling up their feelings of frustration and far kinder to their partners to cheat behind their backs, rather than blow up at them and risk everything.

While it’s probably not the most sensible approach to make a booty call every time your partner annoys you, it’s understandable that some people would rather get back at their partners for issues that drive them crazy, rather than risk losing what may be a deeply satisfying relationship.

2. Most Victims Of Infidelity Never Find Out

It’s a nugget of information that either freezes the blood in your veins or is oddly comforting, but the likelihood that you’ve already been cheated upon and never suspected a thing is staggeringly high. Many people cheat and simply never tell their partners or friends about the deception.

This is good news for gimlet-eyed, priapic love rats but probably bad news for everybody else. But put the boot onto the other foot for a moment – if you got drunk at the office Christmas party and did unspeakable things in the stationary cupboard with Elizabeth from Accounting, would you necessarily find it fair to burden your partner with the knowledge? Many either choose to live with the knowledge of what they have done and never burden their partner of friends with the deceit, or simply feel no guilt about it at all. It’s debatable whether never telling your partner and spinning an ever growing web of lies around your relationship can actually improve your relationship, but never letting on that you’ve been a cad will probably save it – for now.

1. Cheating Can Help Baby Love Mature Into Something Much Better

The most insufferable couples to be around are those that have never outgrown the ‘baby love’ stage, the first throes of love. We’ve all seen them, the perfect couple with the perfect lives who go to perfect places and make them even more perfect with their perfectness. As nauseating as it is, we’ve all been there; so what happens when one of them cheats?

Love takes on many forms and that first rush, where you want to be with somebody all the time and miss them when they’re not around, is thrilling and new. That’s not to say that it’s necessarily the best stage of a relationship, however. The stage where you know what each other is thinking, where you have a rock beside you, where you can accept each others flaws and love them as a whole – this is possibly the best love of all. So how does cheating help you to get from A to B?

Only the strongest of relationships can survive infidelity, but a partner cheating can open the eyes of both the couple to the myriad set of flaws and disappointments that each possess. A couple who can survive the pain of cheating and move away from the infantile stage of projected-idealism ‘baby love’ into something more rewarding and real may well be the couple who truly are the real deal.

US Blames Insurgency On Nigerian Judiciary

The United States government, on Friday, blamed the persistent terrorist attacks being carried out by men of the Boko Haram Sect on the Nigerian judiciary, saying that the institution lacks the required strength to prosecute cases of terrorism as expected.
This was disclosed in the 2014 United States Report on Terrorism which was presented to journalists at the Foreign Press Centre in Washington, DC by Ambassador Tina Kaidanow, State Department’s Coordinator for Counterterrorism.
According to the report, the Nigerian government’s criminal justice institutions were not significantly strengthened in 2014, although several donor countries, including the UK, worked closely with the Ministry of Justice to assist in prioritizing how to investigate and prosecute suspected terrorism cases.
The report also said that the Nigerian government’s efforts to address grievances among Northern populations, which include high unemployment and a dearth of basic services, made little progress.
However, it commended some state governments in the North for attempting to increase education and employment opportunities though, with little support from the federal government.
Furthermore, the report calls on the President Muhammadu Buhari-led administration to employ a more comprehensive strategy to address Boko Haram. It adds that the comprehensive strategy combined with security efforts with political and development efforts to reduce Boko Haram’s appeal, would address the legitimate concerns of the people of the Northern Nigeria, and protect the rights of all of Nigeria’s citizens.
The report also lauds several Nigerian government agencies including the Department of State Security(DSS), the Nigeria Police Force (NPF), and the Ministry of Justice for performing counterterrorism functions.
“Among the problems that deterred or hindered more effective law enforcement and border security by the Nigerian government, were lack of coordination and cooperation between Nigerian security agencies; a lack of biometrics collection systems and the requisite data bases; corruption; misallocation of resources; the slow pace of the judicial system, including lack of a timely arraignment of suspected terrorist detainees; and lack of sufficient training for prosecutors and judges to understand and carry out the Terrorism (Prevention) Act of 2011”
On Regional and International Cooperation, the report says: “Throughout 2014, Nigeria participated in ministerial-level international meetings to address insecurity in the North-East Nigeria – first held in Paris in May, then London in June, and lastly in Abuja in September. The effort was concentrated on ensuring a coordinated response to the threat Boko Haram presents to the region. While dialogue between Cameroon, Niger, Chad, Benin, and Nigeria focused on strengthening regional cooperation, the countries took only minimal steps in 2014 to increase cooperation or interoperability of their security forces”
On the State of Emergency that was imposed by the immediate past administration, the US report also indicates that the emergency rule provided the then government, additional authorities to prosecute a military campaign against Boko Haram, including sweeping powers to search and arrest without warrants.
Meanwhile, the Nigerian Army has said that it has 504 persons in its custody arrested in connection with the outlawed Boko Haram sect.
Of this number, 350 suspected terrorists have been recommended for trial at a Federal Court for terrorist activities in the North-Eastern part of Nigeria.
The Nigerian Army Chief of Administration, Maj. Gen. Adamu Abubakar, made these disclosures on Friday while briefing journalists.
The Army chief was surrounded at the press conference by the Directors of Information of the Army, Air Force and the Navy.
Gen Abubakar said “the Defence Headquarters set up 2 Joint Investigation Teams (JIT) to investigate, screen and categorize suspected insurgents in detention. Out of the 504 suspects screened, prima facie cases were established against 350 suspects and were recommended for trial at the Federal High Court. Their case files were forwarded to the office of the attorney- general and ministry of justice.”
“Additionally, Code of Conduct for troops in the North East and other internal operations and rules of engagement clearly spelt out guidelines for troops. Therefore the Nigerian Military does not in any way condone indiscipline or breach of such regulations, let alone wanton killing or destruction” he said
The Nigerian Military, he said, collaborates with the International Committee of the Red Cross on training of personnel on laws of armed conflict and humanitarian law regularly.
Abubakar said the recent report of the Amnesty International was a bad rehash of the previous one released in 2011.
The Armed Forces advised the AI to be fair to Nigeria in its global campaign for the protection of human rights, even as they claimed the military observes the human rights in its operation in the North-eastern part of the country.
In its latest report, the Organisation not only accused some serving and former service chiefs of human rights abuse, but called for their sanction.
The military read a catalogue of its urgent responses to all the previous questionnaire of the AI but lamented how the organisation fails to be considerate in its own operations, including failure to serve on a panel set up to investigate its grave allegations.
AI, he said, wrote a 5 point questionnaire to the Nigerian military in November 2014, alleging extra judicial killing of some groups of people by the military. “The Military responded to the 5 point questionnaire immediately and in December, precisely 23 December 2014, Amnesty International sent another 37 point questionnaire to the Nigerian military which was answered; with e-mail and hard copy delivered to Amnesty International Headquarters in London on 23 December 2014.
“If the military had anything to hide, it would not have responded to the 37 questions and others especially in the light of the constraints of timing. The Nigerian military has also allowed the International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC) to visit the detainees and other location at the shortest notice without hindrance and even talk to the detainees and locals. Certainly, if the Nigerian military has or had any reason to hide anything, it would not have allowed International Committee of the Red Cross access to its facilities and operational area.”
The military authorities reminded the AI that it took it five years to compile its report which it wanted the military to respond to immediately, which looks impossible.
We “appeal to Amnesty International to be patient, to see the outcome of the investigation. While it took Amnesty International from 2011 – 2015 to chronicle their allegations, they want the Nigerian military to investigate and report immediately. The investigation is on-going; Nigerians and the world at large will certainly be informed of the outcome at the end of the investigation.
For the avoidance of doubt, the Nigerian military has zero tolerance for human rights abuses, extra judicial killings and acts perceived to be war crimes.The Nigerian military is a conventional and professional military that is driven by international standards and best practices. Indeed, the Nigerian military is open to genuine criticisms and allegations but it requires time and patience to report back. It is in this spirit that Amnesty International and any other interested party are encouraged to exercise necessary restraint and patience, while awaiting the outcome of ongoing investigations.”
According to the military, “the Amnesty International allegations of human rights abuse and extra judicial killing of civilians are a rehash of the same allegations made against the military since 2011. No new facts have been unearthed by Amnesty International to warrant their repeated allegations. However, the figures adduced by Amnesty International as victims of extra judicial killing by the military have kept on increasing from 4,600 to 8,000 and even as high as 13,000 civilians. The military has the constitutional and moral responsibility to protect Nigerian citizens and cannot suddenly engage in mass murder as portrayed by Amnesty International allegations.”
The address goes further to recall some of the efforts being made over the AI investigation and how some suspects fingered have been pencilled down for prosecution by the relevant authorities.
“It will be recalled that upon the written request from Amnesty International to the military to comment on the allegations, the military promptly commenced investigations into the allegations. Consequently, several investigations on these allegations are ongoing. Some investigations have turned in their preliminary reports, which have been acted upon. Some of the investigations could not be concluded due to the inaccessibility of the terrain due to the activities of Boko Haram terrorists.
“Similarly, the preliminary investigation reports submitted have resulted in the release of some under aged detainees, women and children from some military holding facilities. Sequel to the report of the investigation panel, 42 detainees were handed over to the Borno state government on Thursday 6th November 2014 and another set of 124 persons were also handed over to the state Government on 8th November 2014 respectively. You may recall that the released persons were assisted with a token financial assistant of N100,000.00 each by the military. The living condition of the detainees was improved upon with the decongestion of holding facilities.”

Losing $14 billion due to a stock collapse in 30mins.

May 20th was a very bad day for Li Hejun.

Li Hejun, Chairman and CEO of Hanergy Holding Group Limited, attends a press conference at the headquarters of Hanergy Holding Group in Beijing, China, June 17, 2015.

Most of us would be dismayed at losing $14 in thirty minutes, much less $14 billion. One of China’s richest men recently did just that, losing $14 billion due to a stock collapse.

Unless you have been keeping up on foreign solar energy stocks or the Hong Kong stock market, you have probably never heard of Li Hejun or Hanergy Thin Film Power Group Ltd. Hanergy purchased a series of companies involved in thin-film solar panel technology — a promising alternative to traditional silicon-based systems, but currently relegated to a niche market. Hejun is the CEO and primary stockholder of Hanergy, generally owning 75-80% of the issues.

During the first four months of 2015, the share price of Hanergy was up 42%. The value tripled in the last twelve months, reaching a high of $40 billion and hovering near $39 billion on Wednesday, May 20th. That is when Hanergy’s stock collapsed. Within a half-hour, the stock lost 47% of its value before trading was suspended on the Hong Kong exchange. Hejun lost at least $14 billion during that exchange, and more by some accounts.

What caused the crash? Theories have ranged from the failure of Hejun to appear at the annual shareholder’s meeting to new trading connections between Hong Kong and China to a computer-assisted “flash crash” similar to the one in the U.S. in May 2010. All may play a role.

It was no secret that Hanergy was overvalued by almost any external standard. Assessing the true health of Hanergy was difficult, because the majority of Hanergy’s sales are to its privately held parent company, the Hanergy Group. However, Hanergy’s market cap of nearly $38 billion dwarfed the six largest competitors with an approximate $25 billion in market value. Hanergy did not appear to have anywhere near the production or income necessary to warrant that value.

What Hanergy does have is loans. The Financial Times has done an excellent job documenting the nature of the loans and the complex financial arrangements between Hanergy Thin Film and the parent Hanergy Group. Hanergy Group used Hanergy Thin Film shares as collateral on large loans, giving great incentive for an inflated stock price. This practice is not illegal in Hong Kong but must be disclosed, and there is some question as to whether proper disclosures were made.

Other concerns have been raised about Hanergy’s dealings. The Financial Times noted that over a two-year period, the majority of the surges in Hanergy stock prices occurred around ten minutes before close of business — the reference point for bank loans that use stock as collateral. Meanwhile, the Chinese Newspaper First Financial Daily visited nine thin-film solar sites and found no construction activity.

While all this was going on, the trading link Stock Connect that allowed traders in Shanghai to buy Hong Kong shares was credited for much of the stock rises. With so few public shares compared to Hejun’s holdings, the stock was highly volatile.

Thus, a lot of money began pouring in at the same time Hejun and Hanergy’s dealings were undergoing critical scrutiny. The stage was set for a major correction, if not a collapse.

According to the Wall Street Journal, the crash began shortly after the shareholders meeting, when heavy trading tilted into far more sellers than buyers. Caixin, a Chinese business magazine, suggested that collateral shares might have been sold off to cover loans that were not repaid. It is also possible that “spoofing” was underway — large orders that are placed and withdrawn for the sole purpose of manipulating stock prices.

Regardless of why they were placed, large sell orders likely triggered computer algorithms to sell, spiraling the price downward until suspension of trading. Hejun also increased his short position in the company two days before the collapse. Investigations on stock manipulation are likely to follow.

Now you have met Li Hejun — and given the state of Hanergy and the upcoming investigations into the stock collapse and Hanergy’s general operations, you probably are going to be hearing more about him. Losing $14 billion in thirty minutes might not be the end of his problems.

The Pope's 10 commandments on climate change

    Pope Francis released a sweeping statement about the environment on Thursday, calling for "cultural revolution" to change our lifestyles -- from our addiction to technology to our treatment of the poor.
The document is very long -- 184 pages in English. But here are 10 quick commandments the Pope says everybody can follow to stop the "disturbing warming" of our planet.

1. Think of future generations.

2. Embrace alternative energy sources

3. Consider pollution's effect on the poor.

4. Take the bus!

5. Be humble.

6. Don't become a slave to your phone.

7. Don't trade online relationships for real ones.

8. Turn off the lights, recycle and don't waste food.

9. Educate yourself.

10. Believe you can make a difference.

My Government'll Comprise Politicians, technocrats......Wike

         Rivers State governor, Mr Nyesom Wike, has said that his government will comprise tested technocrats and trusted politicians with the strategic aim of developing the state. Speaking during a post inauguration thanksgiving service at the Salvation Ministry in Port Harcourt, yesterday, Wike said that the move to revive the state will involve all stakeholders in the state.

        He was responding to a request by the General Overseer of the Salvation Ministry, Pastor David Ibiyomie, who prayed that the incoming government be made up of technocrats. He said: “I will not abandon politicians.
    My administration will be made up of politicians and qualified technocrats. The administration will be geared towards developing Rivers State. “God will not allow us to fail. We will bring men and women with capacity to work for the state. “I am from Rivers State and I believe in Rivers State. The deputy governor and I will work in the overall interest of the state.” Earlier, the General Overseer of Salvation Ministry, Pastor Ibiyomie, commended the governor for putting God first by organising a thanksgiving service for his victory. He said a government built on God can never fail. He advised the governor to run a people centred government to revive the state. He, however, warned the governor against trying to please everyone as that would be a recipe for failure. The thanksgiving service was attended by the Deputy Senate President, Ike Ekweremadu, former Governor of Rivers State, Celestine Omehia, Deputy Governor, Dr. Ipalibo Harry-Banigo and key stakeholders of the state.